Premature Death .... This text deals with this. From my first premature death
It was four Infernal Nights
Maybe I please my book, maybe not, but it is a clear preview of what was my "teenage"
At one thousand nine hundred and seventy-six, when I was twelve years old and had left home so as not to die in my father's hands, winter was still, as it is no more, with the painful exception of this winter of two thousand and sixteen , which is the coldest since twenty-two years ago, when I, curiously, discovered myself with HIV and I was, again, on the street ...
Let's face it ... The fact is that in 76 (allow me to express myself numerically, please) I remember that it was very cold and all the clothes I had was a shirt that, I would dare say, was the prototype of the fitness shirts of the present time, with the difference that today's, although whole with regard to weaving, they also do not trap heat and "perspire with ease". The one I wore that winter was not quite like this; it was a "mesh" ribbon "intertwined ribbons, as if it were a net and most of the chest and back were literally exposed to the cold and the wind.
I do not remember anything about what I "wore as pants," but I was barefoot, had no shoes or socks, and I, like most of the homeless, was filthy.
Four nights and four days is the maximum that a human being can resist before going mad
That ... to remember this, the filth and the way people looked at me cut more than the icy wind itself of those nights.
The fact was that it was cold, and I knew the temperature because "in my night round", where I had to obey a certain rite of territoriality that determined that I should not, leaving the Viaduto do Chá, venture to "Praça of the Patriarch "onwards.
It was my duty to turn around and return. And it was there that I saw the time and temperature, very well exposed on top of the building that belonged or belongs, I do not give a damn, to a certain "bank". I was there four nights sleeping because I knew, more by instinct than by any other reason, I would die if he slept. Today I would would have died of hypothermia, a beautiful name to say that someone died on a public square in the eyes of the indifferent passing, indifferent, having no idea "how will the future" ...
Four Frosty Nights. And Sleep Would Have Generated Hypothermia
I went back and was about two in the morning and the temperature recorded by the thermometer was four degrees Celsius ... I did not feel my feet or my hands (today suffer from peripheral neuropathy HIV and but feel my hands; I type only with indicators , moved over the keyboard by hand, I hardly feel (...). I was tired, it was the fourth night and the cold remained unforgiving. I had the basic notion of getting some cardboard boxes and me shelter within them, I did not know that, no one taught me and I did not see it, and if seen, not called "Aye with chalk." I did not walk fast, very tired, aching legs, body, or that I could still feel my body and slowly I was going through, back to the region from the Republic Square, "my territory. Or part of it. the area in which I could traffic was part of Avenida Ipiranga, Arouche Rua do Arouche Square to the street of Gosmões . to the Rio Branco avenue never cross to the side of the "mouth of the trash" because I certainly would not survive the savagery that was the place; I had a variant that would allow me to go by St. Louis Avenue, but she was full of "Call Boys" and I did not like to be confused with them ...
If God had warned me .... I would have gone the same way
This is the part no one will ever know ...
I had stopping points; momentary stop, from five to ten minutes, in stores that we knew as "arcades" that today are called "arcade". It was the time of the guy who took care of the box to realize that I was the same as always (underage) and expel me. I was on the Rio Branco avenue and I had the option to go down to the Largo do Paiçandu, but I chose, I do not know why, to turn right and go through Ipiranga until May 24, where I left and I was on my way back to the Viaduto do Chá, respecting the implicit limit and returning, seeing the time and temperature.
Sometimes I heard the bell of the Monastery of St. Benedict and, I confess, I liked the sound of those bells ... (I am an audiophile and like to record sounds ... There are some songs that I can immediately recognize the first note, even if it is played in back to shipping, as in the case of New York, New York with Frank Sinatra, one triple ring noise in the dishes is unmistakable, even to "bring to front") ... the bells, the bells helped to demarcate the time tb they had a logic of playing a quarter of an hour, two hour bedrooms, three quarters of an hour with higher pitch bells, and played well, the "four quarters of an hour" and then a bell I imagined huge , rang the time in question: Doooooooom, dooooooom, dooooooooooom ....
And the silence returned. Three in the morning, another accomplished round. I was more than exhausted, was on the threshold of my strength and was so cold that the streets were completely empty when I saw a bench on the boardwalk (which no longer exists) of the Barão de Itapetininga Street and I bought the idea that sit me there for a few minutes would not hurt me ...
Tráido For Me, After Four Nights
After sitting, the relief on the legs I suggested that I could stretch the body and lie there without sleep, even if it was for five minutes.
And without thinking, slaughtered in every way, I laid down and less than ten seconds later, I fell asleep.
It started to drizzle and I felt as if millions of pins on fire were burning me, I knew what it was, was approaching death and I tried to wake up! I clearly remember that I, in spirit, desperately fought to regain control over the body to get up and walk again, but I could not, and suddenly, a jolt ...
a second and a third stride, this brutal! And I woke up. There was a car stop civilian police, one of the "dreaded caravans" with the back (the police van) already open and the police told me to go in there. It was not the first time that I was being held for questioning (this happened always and only God knows why I, thank God, have not been forwarded to the FEBEM. "The State Foundation for the Less Well-Being". best eat shit with gravel to fall in FEBEM, told ...
Only I had not been arrested for investigation and did not know it. What I noticed was that after I was locked up there behind the "strip" in question led the car with a speed that was not normal and less than 5 minutes, I believe, he was in the third district. It did not take me to the lockup, he showed me to anyone and put me in the tea room ...
After Four Nights, A Relief
Bank of tea, which was used to detain troublemakers drunk until recobrassem of tipsy. The "strip" told me not to get out (I would not go out or they might give me) and soon he arrived with a pitcher, I believe that a pint and a half full of coffee with milk and a bag with lots of bread with butter on the plate still warm and told me to eat.
I would have eaten even if he said do not eat, because there were already two or three days I did not put anything down. He went out again, and when he brought me a shirt, a jacket, a pair of shoes and pants. He told me I switched and seek sleep. And so I did! When given the time of change of duty he woke me up and told me to leave. Interestingly the day was sunny ... I still remember him and his features.
He was a gray-haired man, perhaps with 50 years, I do not know, with a beard did not cover the whole face, perhaps the beard word is not correct, and yes, chops, too gray, a grizzled mustache and light eyes, think gray ...
The Gray-Eyed Man saved my Life after I Left the Last Moment
Here, right now, I can look at the empty and project the image of his face. I never saw him, I do not know his name ...
But if someday, in this life or the next, he needs a single soul that testimony of his goodness I swear by all that is sacred and all that is most profane (yes, yes! I I am given the extreme) I'll be there, because it had not been for him, I would not be here anymore.
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