Ten Lessons I Had to Learn While I Lived My First Years After Diagnostic HIV antibody Testing by Nick Domitrovich
Contrasted with the lessons that I, Claudius, have been learning for more than two decades.
I'm going gray
Last year, on December 21, 2015, my doctor called me at work to inform me that I had tested positive for the HIV. And so, my whole reality has changed.
Physically, it was a quick and fairly straightforward trip: I saw my doctor on 23 day, did additional blood tests on 24 and started taking antiretroviral drugs on 25 (Merry Christmas!)!
I received final confirmatory results in 5 January, and even February 12 I had a viral load undetectable - which I have maintained since then, due to the adherence and draconian discipline with which I conduct my treatment, my diet and medication intake daily.
(translator's note: In the House of AIDS, where I treat myself the goal of taking the medication is 95%, informed a nurse that I consider sister at heart; and she, when she saw me doing math, said that in a month it is _acceptable_ the loss of an outlet. I consider a delay over one hour unacceptable and this causes me to control my wife's medication with a tectonic fist and maybe I am developing something for this site that will be good in many ways and especially so!)
But this is not about my physical journey. There is a lot written about the physical aspects and medical developments of HIV, which I encourage you to read on this site, seropositivo.org, which has more than 540 public pages and about 4000 filed, and you can, if you feel you should, look for me , Cláudio Souza (Macedo?) For WhatsApp and + 55 11 FORCED TO REMOVE FOR YOU if you feel alone or in doubt. About window period that I recommend the texts that are in this link (this link has more than a dozen other links, all pointing to relevant and important aspects for those who want to understand, for whatever reason, this thing so badly treated on the WEB, with writings by sadists and also idiots and homophobic - in theory repressed freaks without the courage to come out -) if you are worried about it, you can also look for it in the same zap where I found the life and I heard personal stories from other human beings that can be especially useful for my emotional healing in the weeks, months, months, years decades after my diagnosis, sometimes counted in seconds, one after the other and those who know the Obra de Machado de Assis knows well what the devil's rhetorical figure represents with two sacks, one full of coins and the other empty, where he passes the one from full to empty and says: “another one less”….
The circumstances of each individual are different, as is his personal reaction to learning his positive status, and in writing this I do not intend to represent anything but my own personal acceptance story. In sharing the lessons I have learned throughout this first year of being positive, I hope to accomplish two things. First of all, I would love to be able to help someone who may just be learning their own way in living with HIV or AIDS, or having a loved one with HIV-reactive status.
When I found out, I had no close friends that I knew to be HIV positive. But an acquaintance, who is now a friend, had appeared a few months before on Facebook and he is HIV-positive, and so I looked for him to see if he would be willing to have coffee. He listened to me and then shared his story. Over the course of this year I went back to that first conversation many times and got comfortable in the fact that many of the emotions I was feeling, thoughts I was thinking, or experiences I was experiencing were shared experiences with this man and, By other people.
Although the author “forgets”, and I mention, also the women, sometimes contaminated in the first relationship, with a bullshit, a sacripanta who asked for a “proof of love” (disgust) and who ended up in Rua da Amargura or in Amparo (sic) Maternal, as well as wives, who believed they were “safe”, because they were in “a marriage”, “and a stable relationship” or who simply let their guard down because they loved that guy and who eventually came to discover ten, perhaps six years later in prenatal care, and her husband called her a slut, Or as Amarilys, in memoriam, who had the greatness of keeping an open relationship and all she asked the undressed was to use the condom and she only came to know nine years later in a preoperative where a candidiasis was detected RECURRENT.
Second, I hope to continue the open dialogue. Although we have come a long way in recent years 35 in the fight against HIV, there is still much work to be done, not least of which is to educate and continue to fight stigma. So without further ado, here are ten of the lessons I learned during my first year living with HIV.
1. The remedies are really amazing
Okay, so I lied. I will make a statement on the medical developments.
I knew the drugs had come a long way, but damn. My doctor, who is also an HIV specialist, put me in this new HIV drug, Genvoya, a single derivative of a previous drug called Stribild, but with fewer potential side effects on kidneys and bone density. Genvoya had entered the market only a month ago at the time of my diagnosis.
Genvoya is a fixed dose tablet combining 150mg from elvitegravir, 150mg from cobicistat, 200mg from emtricitabine and tenofovir alafenamide 10mg (TAF). It is manufactured by Gilead Sciences.
Elvitegravir is an integrase inhibitor. Emtricitabine is a nucleoside analogue reverse transcriptase inhibitor (NRTI) and tenofovir alafenamide nucleoside is a reverse transcriptase inhibitor (NtRTI). These drugs help prevent HIV from replicating, in a literal process of enslaving the cell until it, exhausted, dies and the antibodies and other representatives of the immune system gradually and gradually decrease the amount of HIV in the body; that is, making the viral load undetectable (I still want to touch on these two points, the undetectability and non-transmissibility, which has been the nirvana of many seropositive young people who, believe it or not, stop taking the medication, leave the clinic because, undetectable… (…)… They are not transmitters). Cobicistat is an agent used to increase levels of elvitegravir. It has no anti-HIV activity of its own. Genvoya offers a complete combination of anti-HIV drugs in one pill.
I took DDI and, in the package insert, which I no longer read, there was a very interesting side effect: “Fulminant pancreatitis”!
Genvoya received marketing approval in the United States and the European Union in November of 2016.
The standard dose of Genvoya is a pale green tablet once a day, food intake -I always wonder how a homeless man can keep this routine, synchronously, from eating and taking the well-fed medications. I said this because I lived on the streets for five years and sometimes I could not ask for alms for shame and not even a bread I had to eat-. It is licensed for use in adults over the age of eighteen.
It was so new, in fact, my doctor had to give me a handwritten recipe, because I was not even on your system. I felt very on trend with my medication!
I take the pill once a day in the morning, and unlike older remedies, this also had very noticeable limited side effects, mainly a few minor digestive problems that wore me out in the first month.
Editor's note: This is not everyone's reality. There are people who take seven tablets in the morning and eight in the evening. And not everything is this pink ocean, with lilac begonias. Yes! I take, for HIV four drugs, in three tablets once a day HIV! Two injections of Clexane, an anticoagulant, to cover a cross-border effect between the eternal vasculitis caused by HIV and a genetic formation of clots. I already suffered several thrombophlebitis in the left arm and the nice name for it and “recurrent thrombophlebitis ”) a property of my organism that led my then vascular surgeon, Dr. Cinara instructed nurses to, in the process of collecting material (blood) for examination that did not use the veins of the left arm, this has been going on for ten years. Yes, for ten years I have only been collecting and collecting blood from my right arm and the veins are running out, so calloused, punctured, often by nurses who seemed to suffer from Parkinson's disease (...). The other THING, fearful that became a signatory in the club is the Thromboembolism Deep Pulmomar Repeat - opens in another tab - (I had two and I make my medical history available for download here, in this link
As I am, what would you say, old man of war, with 22 years of HIV infection on 29/04/2017 (yes, maybe you who are reading me are younger than my lifetime with HIV (…) ) the “things”, maybe, and just maybe, are not so simple and, just to shed light, this point: The first medication I took, around 1995 was AZT. The Bull was clear. 6 pills every 4 hours, even if it meant interrupting the patient's sleep. So far so good, the vomiting session was hard after every pill-taking. I looked at the Nordic God who sat in front of me each day and told him. I stopped with AZT. He said, "Okay, life is yours." I replied that it was exactly that and, if I had to die in six months, I would emphatically prefer to die them without vomiting. He passed the second dose of prophylactic drugs against tuberculosis (I lived in a support house that was a focus of TB), I left the room, spent in the pharmacy and it took me over five years to vomit again, but, in this second stage, it was a matter of learning, because I had reached the fearsome, scary, dark and unbelievable 149Kg and I had to have a gastroplasty. I have a photo of Facebook that I will post below to everyone's horror.
2. In addition, as I mentioned above, I had become undetectable within just over a month of being on medication, thereby reducing the damage that the virus can do to my immune system, and making the likelihood of my virus passing to any other almost insignificant person (editor's note: Reckless thinking… Read Viral blisters). Because of health care and a Gilead-sponsored co-payment program (the same that helps cover the cost of Truvada, the drug currently used for PrEP), I paid $ 0 for a drug that would cost $ 3,000 / month Eu I learned of my diagnosis soon after the seroconversion, which was only possible because I had been tested regularly. And since my doctor immediately started my medication, he indicated that I should live an absolutely complete, long and healthy life. In fact, there is a good chance I will never see any real physical effects of this virus.
I know it is not so for everyone, but Amarilis, who was a reviewer of this site for many years, had a score of CD4 above 900 (…) Amarilis had an undetectable viral load and an undetectable viral load (I sometimes think you see this as the “Grail - I heard something from a doctor's mouth that left me, perplexed, by an attitude - with the forgiveness of the bad word - reckless, but I'll deal with that later, but for now I suggest you read something about “Viral blisters and breaking, this one“) Victim of an opportunistic disease, a Lymphoma Non Hodgkins (now known as Burkit's Linkfoma; In this case, a neoplasm, which is a euphemism for Brain cancer A BAQUE in all of us
You can not rush your healing
As a matter of fact you can dream about it and stick to the reality that we have the virus, we live with the virus and yet, we will not necessarily die because of the virus or the opportunistic diseases says Alice. Any of my friends will say that I love scheduling. The five-year plans are as natural to me as breathing. So, of course, when I discovered that I was positive, I immediately made a plan of how I was going to handle it.
It was as follows:
- January - Allow me to be sad. Digest everything. Classify emotions. Drink them all.
- February - Take the pieces. Go ahead. Start yoga. Do not drink.
- March - Back to normal.
I, Cláudio Souza, depended on the charity other girl of programs, who does not understand this, read here
She gave me what she could, and I do not even know if she could. I do not remember her face because my shame was so much that I could never look at her face and in the middle of all that tsunami where I was being swallowed, drowned and ground, I keep, still the image of a pair of black scarpin ' And well-formed legs (yes! Yes I am practically incorrigible and only a very wise woman has the formula to keep me at her side and faithful for more than three years I lived nine marriages lived together is married and the marriage more Short lasted 5 months, but the vast majority lasted for three years with the betrayal started at 23, 24th month.
Mara has kept me loyal to her for more than fifteen years, and if there was a time when the structures swayed, it was her that I asked for help (I was confused and I confused intellectual involvement with emotional involvement). On a beautiful Saturday I went out, called Mara, said everything that worried me and if she wanted me to come home and she said ...
- "Come back, let's talk". And here we are. I learn a lesson from everything and I learned to separate these two things and, if God allows me, that will never happen. I used the little money that she, the program girl could give me and I paid R $ 10,00 in a 5th hotel that was known as Gurgel, which was a high turnover (it was a pimping exploitation den, pow, and was frequented by transvestites)… I was seen going in and out of there and, although I have little or nothing to do with the way people live gave even more reasons for debauchery and scorn, I became cannon fodder and even a great friend, someone I haven't spoken to in years, but whom I love as a brother, mentioned another person, as infected with HIV saying: "He is also infected". I didn't send him to the bridge that fell because he was and is very important to me, despite everything that was done to keep us from each other…
In exchange for what she gave me, I had breakfast while I tried to make my life possible, my financial independence, but I was only able to accept her help for just over five days and I remember that I thanked her, kissed both of her hands and I never went back to the place where she was, I saw that she waited for four buses to leave, and on the fifth, she left, and I never saw her alive again. I sincerely hope that she can read all of this and know that she put the basic weight she gave me with apparently little, but this little bit has restored me and today, 22 years ago… I'm here
Well, no surprise to anyone, it turns out that this is not how it works. In a moment of frustration a week in March, I went to a yoga class in the evening (thanks, February!). I had been depressed for an entire week and could not identify the exact reason why. Everything was progressing so well, so why was I feeling anxious and upset? When the class ended, we lay down for Shavasana and the instructor played a song that I had never heard before, “You can't rush your healing” by artist Trevor Hall. In it, he sings:
Well, everyone has this chapter
Dark days and darker
Saturn seems to be returning
And its essence can not be tamed
Editor's note: There is no cure and therefore there is nothing to rush. This very famous cure for 2020 (I want to burn my tongue and be wrong, but that is not what I read, see and hear in every serious place that deals with the subject or the AIDS disease) is something I don't know how it will be disgraced ...
Now is it for 21? "Grab the Torch ”? (“ Holding the torch ”)?
Is it a sporting event? Is it a joke? A feud? !!!!! Or a slot machine - I know I will never be called to an amFAR event and I don't care. I just went to see the Gran Circus Amfar
More than thirty-five million people died with the "torch in hand" and I saw how many and how many times they tried to change the protocol of helsinki, which says that the research subject, after finishing the research, should have the right and deserves it receive the best treatment available and these friendly and smiling people, I have the impression that they are all WASPs -White, Anglo Saxon Protestant - and they tried to change the treatment of the research subject to the best “available” treatment.
With that, we can imagine our dear Nick Domitrovich tomanod genoya and living well with his lenses, now blue, while the human covbaia that took all risks, trying a drug that in God and the Devil together could predict what would result for this poor “Disinfiliz” there in Sierra Leone, taking cyborg for the pain of peripheral neuropathy and a combination of AZT + 3TC and DDI, slowly dying from AIDS or poisoning and, friends, there are at least another thirty-five million people Grabbing the torchs… Until when
Let's admit ... The cure appears in 2020. Where does it go? How much time does it take, time is money, to move these resources to the southern hemisphere, to the west and to the east?
Who will pay for it? What is the reason for this?
For today, 05/05/2017 I stop here. As a friend says… “Saporra is a killer”.