Ten Lessons I Had to Learn While I Lived My First Years After Diagnostic HIV antibody Testing by Nick Domitrovichcontrasted with the lessons that I, Claudius, have been learning for more than two decades. I'm going gray
Last year, in 21 2015 December, my doctor called me at work to inform me that I had tested positive for HIV. And so, my whole reality changed.
Physically, it was a quick and fairly straightforward trip: I saw my doctor on 23 day, did additional blood tests on 24 and started taking antiretroviral drugs on 25 (Merry Christmas!)!
I received final confirmatory results in 5 January, and even February 12 I had an undetectable viral load - which I have maintained ever since, due to the draconian adherence and discipline with which I conduct my daily treatment, feeding, and medication.
(In the House of AIDS, where I treat myself to the goal of taking the medication is 95%, I was informed by a nurse who I consider to be a sister at heart, and she, when she saw me doing accounts, said that in a month I think it is unacceptable to delay for more than an hour and this causes me to control my wife's medication with a tectonic grip and maybe she is developing something for this site that will be good in many ways and in this , in particular!)
But this is not about my physical journey. There is a lot written about the physical aspects and medical developments of HIV, which I encourage you to read on this site, seropositivo.org, which has more than 540 public pages and about 4000 filed, and you can, if you feel you should, look for me , Cláudio Souza (Macedo?) For WhatsApp and + 55 11 FORCED TO REMOVE FOR YOU if you feel alone or with any questions. About immunological window that I recommend the texts that are in this link (this link has more than a dozen other links, all pointing to relevant and important aspects for who wants to understand, for whatever reason, this thing so badly treated on the WEB, with writings of sadists and also idiots and homophobic - in vain thesis repressed without the courage to take over -) if you are worried about it, you can also look in the same zap where I found life and heard personal stories of other humans that may be especially useful for my emotional healing in the weeks , months, years, decades after my diagnosis, sometimes counted in seconds, one queued behind the other, and who knows the Work of Machado de Assis knows well what represents the figure of devil rhetoric with two bags, one full of coins and another emptiness, where he passes from full to empty and says: "another of less" ....
The circumstances of each individual are different, as is his personal reaction to learning his positive status, and in writing this I do not intend to represent anything but my own personal acceptance story. In sharing the lessons I have learned throughout this first year of being positive, I hope to accomplish two things. First of all, I would love to be able to help someone who may just be learning their own way in living with HIV or AIDS, or having a loved one with HIV-reactive status.
When I found out, I had no close friends that I knew to be HIV positive. But an acquaintance, who is now a friend, had appeared a few months before on Facebook and he is HIV-positive, and so I looked for him to see if he would be willing to have coffee. He listened to me and then shared his story. Over the course of this year I went back to that first conversation many times and got comfortable in the fact that many of the emotions I was feeling, thoughts I was thinking, or experiences I was experiencing were shared experiences with this man and, By other people.
Although the author "forgets", and I mention, also the women, sometimes contaminated in the first relationship, with a fist, a sacrilegant who asked for a "proof of love" (disgust) and ended up in Rua da Amargura or Amparo (Sic) Maternal as well as wives, Who believed themselves to be "safe" because of being "in a marriage", "and a stable relationship" or simply getting off guard because they loved that guy and who eventually came to discover ten, perhaps six years later in prenatal care, and her husband called her a slut, Or as Amarilys, in memoriam, who had the greatness of keeping an open relationship and all she asked the undressed was to use the condom and she only came to know nine years later in a preoperative where a candidiasis was detected RECURRENT.
Second, I hope to continue the open dialogue. Although we have come a long way in recent years 35 in the fight against HIV, there is still much work to be done, not least of which is to educate and continue to fight stigma. So without further ado, here are ten of the lessons I learned during my first year living with HIV.
1. The remedies are really amazing
Okay, so I lied. I will make a statement about medical developments. I knew the drugs had come a long way, but damn. My doctor, who is also an HIV specialist, put me in this new HIV drug, Genvoya, a single derivative of a previous drug called Stribild, but with fewer potential side effects on the kidneys and bone density. Genvoya had entered the market only a month before my diagnosis.
Genvoya is a fixed dose tablet combining 150mg from elvitegravir, 150mg from cobicistat, 200mg from emtricitabine and tenofovir alafenamide 10mg (TAF). It is manufactured by Gilead Sciences.
Elvitegravir is an integrase inhibitor. Emtricitabine is a nucleoside analog reverse transcriptase inhibitor (NNRTI) and tenofovir alafenamide nucleoside is a reverse transcriptase inhibitor (NtRTI). These drugs help prevent HIV from replicating in a literal process of enslaving the cell until it is depleted and dies, and antibodies and other immune system representatives gradually and gradually decrease the amount of HIV in the body; (I still want to touch on these two points, the undetectability and non-transmissibility, which has the nerve of many HIV positive young people who, believe it or not, stop the medication, leave the outpatient clinic because, undetectable ... (...) ... they are not transmitters). Cobicistat is an agent used to increase elvitegravir levels. You have no anti-HIV activity of your own. Genvoya offers a complete combination of anti-HIV drugs in one pill.I took IDD, and in the package insert, which I do not read anymore, there was a very interesting side effect: "Fulminant pancreatitis"!
Genvoya received marketing approval in the United States and the European Union in November of 2016.
The standard dose of Genvoya is a pale green tablet once a day, food intake –I always wonder how a homeless man can keep this routine, synchronously, from eating and taking the well-fed medications. I said this because I lived on the streets for five years and sometimes I could not ask for alms for shame and not even a bread I had to eat-. It is licensed for use in adults over the age of eighteen.
It was so new, in fact, my doctor had to give me a handwritten recipe, because I was not even on your system. I felt very on trend with my medication!
I take the pill once a day in the morning, and unlike older remedies, this also had very noticeable limited side effects, mainly a few minor digestive problems that wore me out in the first month.
Editor's note: This is not everyone's reality. There are people who take seven tablets in the morning and eight in the evening. And not everything is this pink ocean, with lilac begonias. Yes! I take, for HIV four drugs, in three tablets once a day HIV! Two injections of Clexane, an anticoagulant, to cover a cross-border effect between the eternal vasculitis caused by HIV and a genetic formation of clots. I've suffered several thrombophlebitis in the left arm and the friendly name for it and "recurrent thrombophlebitis ") a property of my body that led my then vascular surgeon, Dr. Cinara directed the nurses to in the process collect material (blood) for examination that did not use the veins of the left arm, that is already ten years old. Yes, ten years ago I only collect blood and blood material from my right arm and the veins are running out, so calloused, pierced, often by nurses who seemed to suffer from Parkinson's disease. The other THING, fearful that became a signatory in the club is the Thromboembolism Deep Pulmomar Repeat - opens in another tab - (I had two and I put my medical history available for download here, in this link
As I am, what would you say, old man of war, with 22 years of HIV infection in 29 / 04 / 2017 (yes, maybe you who are reading me are younger than my lifetime with HIV ...) ) "Things", perhaps, and just maybe, are not so simple and, just to polish, this point: The first medication I took, around 1995 was AZT. The Bull was clear. 6 tablets at each 4 hours, even if this meant discontinuing the patient's sleep. Until then, well, it was hard to vomit after each "take" of pills. I looked at the Norse God who sat in front of me every day and told him. I stopped with AZT. He said, "All right, life is yours." I replied that it was exactly that, and if I had to die in six months, I would emphatically prefer to die without vomiting. He passed the second dose of prophylactic drugs against tuberculosis (I lived in a support house that was a focus of TB), I retired from the room, I went to the pharmacy and it took me more than a few years for me to vomit again, In this second stage, it was a learning issue, as I had reached the fearsome, scary, dark and unbelievable 149Kg and had to do a gastroplasty. I have a Facebook photo that I will put down to everyone's dread.
2. Also, as I mentioned above, I had become undetectable within a little more than a month of being on medication, thus reducing the damage that the virus can do to my immune system, and making the likelihood of my passing from the virus to any Another person almost insignificant (Editor's note: Rash Thought ... Read Viral blisters). Because of health care and a Gilead-sponsored co-payment program (the same that helps cover the cost of Truvada, the drug currently used for PrEP), I paid $ 0 for a drug that would cost $ 3,000 / month Eu I learned of my diagnosis soon after the seroconversion, which was only possible because I had been tested regularly. And since my doctor immediately started my medication, he indicated that I should live an absolutely complete, long and healthy life. In fact, there is a good chance I will never see any real physical effects of this virus.
I know it is not so for everyone, but Amarilis, who has been reviewing this site for many years, had a CDXUMUMX count above 4 (...) Amarilis had undetectable viral load and undetectable viral load (I sometimes think you see this as the "Grail - I heard something from the mouth of a doctor who baffled me in the face of an attitude - with the forgiveness of the bad word - foolhardy, but I'll deal with it later, but for now I suggest you read something about "Viral blisters and breaking, this one") Is the victim of an opportunistic illness, Lymphoma Non Hodgkins (now known as Burkit's Linkfoma; In this case, a neoplasm, which is a euphemism for Brain cancer A BAQUE in all of us
You can not rush your healingAs a matter of fact you can dream about it and stick to the reality that we have the virus, we live with the virus and yet, we will not necessarily die because of the virus or the opportunistic diseases says Alice. Any of my friends will say that I love scheduling. The five-year plans are as natural to me as breathing. So, of course, when I discovered that I was positive, I immediately made a plan of how I was going to handle it.
It was as follows:
- January - Allow me to be sad. Digest everything. Rate emotions. Drink all.
- February - Pick up the pieces. Go ahead. Start yoga. Do not drink.
- March - Returns to normal.
I, Cláudio Souza, depended on the charity other girl of programs, who does not understand this, read here
She gave me what she could, and I do not even know if she could. I do not remember her face because my shame was so much that I could never look at her face and in the middle of all that tsunami where I was being swallowed, drowned and ground, I keep, still the image of a pair of black scarpin ' And well-formed legs (yes! Yes I am practically incorrigible and only a very wise woman has the formula to keep me at her side and faithful for more than three years I lived nine marriages lived together is married and the marriage more Short lasted 5 months, but the vast majority lasted for three years with the betrayal started at 23, 24th month.
Mara has kept me loyal to her for over fifteen years, and if there was a time when the structures rocked, it was her that I asked for help (I was confused and confused intellectual involvement with emotional involvement). On a beautiful Saturday I gave a way out, called Mara, said everything that distressed me and if she wanted me to go home and she said ...
"Come back, let's talk." And here we are. I take a lesson from everything and I have learned to separate these two things and, God willing, this will never happen. I used the little money she, the program girl, could give me and I paid R $ 10,00 at a 5ª hotel that was known as Gurgel, which was a high turnover (it was a pimp holding dive, pow, and was frequented for travestis) ... I was seen coming in and out of there, and although I had little or nothing to do with the way people live gave even more reasons for mockery and derision, I became cannon fodder and even a large friend, someone I have not talked to for years, but whom I love as a brother, mentioned another person, as infected with HIV saying: "He is also a bichado." I did not send him to the bridge that fell because he was and is very important to me, despite everything that was done to keep us from each other ...
The exchange of what she gave me was having breakfast while I sought to make my life viable, my financial independence, but I could only accept her help for little more than five days and I remember that I thanked her, kissed both their hands and I never got back to the point where she was, I saw she waited for four buses to leave, and in the fifth she left, and I never saw her alive again. I hope, from my heart, that she can read all this and know that she put the basilar weight that she gave me with apparently little, but this little has reestablished me and today, 22 years ago ... I'm here
Well, no surprise to anyone, it turns out that this is not how it works. In a moment of frustration a week in March, I went for a yoga class in the evening (thank you, February!). I had been depressed for a whole week and could not pinpoint the exact reason why. Everything was progressing so well, so why was I feeling anxious and upset? When class ended, we lay down for Shavasana and the instructor played a song I had never heard, "You can not rush your healing" by artist Trevor Hall. In it, he sings: Well, everyone has this chapter Of dark and darkest days Saturn seems to be coming back And its essence can not be tamed
Editor's Note: There is no cure and therefore there is no hurry. This very bad cure for 2020 (I want to burn the tongue and be wrong, but that's not what I read, see and hear in any serious place that deals with the subject or the disease AIDS) is something I do not know how it will be misplaced ...
Is it now for 21? "Grab the Torch? "(" Hold the torch ")? Is it a sporting event? Is it a joke? A feud? !!!!! Or a slot machine - I know I'll never be called to an amFAR event and I'm not fucking screwed. I was just watching the Gran Circus Amfar More than thirty-five million people died as a "torch in the hand" and I saw how many times and how many times they tried to change the helsinque protocol, which says that the research subject, after completing the research I have the impression that they are all WASPs-White, Anglo Saxon Protestant - and they tried to change the subject's treatment of the research for the best treatment "available". With this, we can imagine our dear Nick Domitrovich tomanod genoya and living well with his lenses, now blue, while the human covbaia who took all risks, experiencing a drug that God and the Devil together could have foreseen in what would happen for this poor man "Disinfiliz" there in Sierra Leone, taking cibalena for the pains of peripheral neuropathy and a combination of AZT + 3TC and DDI, slowly dying from AIDS or poisoning and, friends, there are at least another thirty-five million people million Grabbing the torchs... Until We Admit ... The cure appears in 2020. Where does she go? How much time does it take, is it time, money, to move these resources to the Southern Hemisphere, to the West and to the East? Who is going to pay that? What is the reason for this? For today, 05 / 05 / 2017 I stop here. As one friend says ... "Saporra is to kill."