It May Not Be HIV! This is a phrase I repeat, in fact repeated, dozens of times a week for a considerable number of people.
This line of work in the Whats' App will be gone
It May Not Be HIV. It May Be Just Your Body Somatizing Due To Anxiety And Stress For The Fear Of Getting Infected.
So I begin my story dear readers, but before explaining about psychosomatization, I need to go back on the timeline and narrate everything that happened to me. I'm not very good with texts, so if there is any flaw in agreement or other "gaps" ignore, the important thing is what I'm going to report.
My story begins on 15 in October, on 15 in October I went on a business trip, after having accomplished everything there was to have done in that city, before returning to the hotel I decided to go to a bar to have a beer, I must have taken a 5 long neck, while I drank in the bar I noticed that a girl was watching me, as I am married I did not wind up.
Drunk, caught, got an erection? (...)
After having taken some 5 and already be there of Baghdad (I am not of drink, any two cans already leave me altered) I decided to return to the hotel. When I get to the parking lot I realize that the same girl who had watched me had followed me to the car and to shorten the text, we had sex there, we had protected or almost protected sex, the passive and active oral were made without a condom.
The next day, a heavy conscience for betraying my wife, especially because she was pregnant.
The weight in Consciousness and the "Spilled Milk."
But I got in the car and returned to my city, life that follows, no use crying for the milk spilled (literally) ....
Returning to my city about two weeks after that night, doing exercises I ended up burst 3 herniations in the cervical, I was very ill, had to do corticosteroid treatment, my last corticosteroid injection was on 22 day of December, 2 weeks later me gave a candidiasis in the mouth!
Searches on Google and Your Results
I CLÁUDIO SOUZA, I can not hold Google accountable. Google believes that it offers the best based on its algorithms. But they are "just algorithms" and do not make value judgments! If they did ...
I went to research on treatment and one of Google's searches it was written there:
Candidiasis may appear in the acute phase of HIV, at the same time did not attach much importance, I started to do the treatment on my own (fluconazole + oral nystatin) indicated by the pharmacist, he further said:
Rest assured that in a week this passes, this was because of the injections you took!
After a week, nothing of it healed, declined considerably, but right there on the bottom of his tongue.
I remembered that oral sex, from Google's HIV research, and that's it, panic installed and sure, I'm HIV positive.
I started to panic, Jesus, would I have contracted HIV and still passed it to my wife who is pregnant ?! (Claudius speaking: Why does everyone, even me, remember Jesus in the Hour of Suffocation?)
I began to develop panic disorder, OCD and other psychiatric illnesses, within a month I began to feel all the symptoms of the acute phase (except fever), but I felt a heat and my temperature always in 37 °. (...).
Tormented and with the certainty that had HIV I checked an infectologist, he got infected, he gave me all the necessary tests: HIV1 and 2, blood count, glucose, cholesterol, so many exams I can not remember anymore.
I did HIV1 and 2 of fourth generation, in the best laboratory in the city, result: negative.
I returned to the infectologist and he reassured me, Calm down, you do not have HIV., if you had that exam, you would have identified it, you did it with a higher window than recommended, your problem is psychiatric, go urgently to a psychiatrist and a psychologist they will help you, what you are having is somatization, Google, right?
I, Claudio Souza, have just remembered an authentic anecdote. At the entrance to an office of an Italian doctor is written something that is more or less the following:
And there is an interesting parallel. I worked four months in a company and I took care, along with a friend, of computer maintenance brought by customers.
I will not go into the sordid details of this work.
But there is an interesting observation from my "laboratory".
He told me, referring to customers who came with a computer and a diagnosis:
-"And the video card".
And he told me, it's like I got to the doctor's office and told the doctor,
"I have cancer doctor."
We laugh a lot, but when it comes to a computer, it is easy to solve the problem, although it is often difficult to explain "Which is the chipset and that the cost of a repair with BGA is very expensive and that the cost of the equipment does not allow the commercial viability of the work and therefore we will have to change the motherboard" .... - The answer you hear this is usually something for which there is no interjection, but think of you trying to explain something inherent to your profession before a "layman" and the disturbed and disturbing expression of stupefaction and surprise!
IT'S LIKE THAT! (I.e.
And dealing with HIV, AIDS, IMMUNE WINDOW IS VERY SERIOUS AND, IN GENERAL, AUTOMATION IS THE WAY THAT CAN LEAD TO DISASTER!
I left there, devastated, thinking What an infectious shit was that who was ignoring everything I felt and telling me to go to a psychiatrist. (The worst psychiatric patient is exactly the one who says he is not in need. Desperately Needed !!!!!!!!!)
Well I ended up doing what he told me, I started the treatment and about 1 week after starting the medication the symptoms began to disappear, but the certainty was still planted in my headI had HIV!
With 4 months and still with the certainty of being with HIV, I could not take it and I had to tell my wife, - Claudio speaking: One of the most beautiful gestures of dignity that I have ever seen and, hitherto, unheard of for me - to go together do all the necessary exams, took a few slaps in the face (deserved - CSouza: I agree) but come on, my paranoia came to such, that I saw symptoms in my wife and in my son 10 years, I thought about killing myself a few times.
After the 4 months we were my wife and I to CAT, we performed a quick test and result:
But my head was so obsessive and the symptoms were so real that I did not believe, looked outdated websites talking in 6 windows for months, 9 months, there that anguish became bigger and bigger, it was when in one of these searches I found this blog, of which today I can call my friend, Cláudio Souza, it contained all the most updated information about windows and many other things, but I could not convince myself.
With 130 days I returned to my infectologist, outraged, in tears, and said:
Doctor, it can not be, I have HIV, give me a more specific exam.
I remembered, now, a case that, to me, was iconic: Having taken me to the streak of despair after saying:
"I'm going to the Tower."!
And I waited for the police call, trying to figure out my connection to "the thing", it would not have been the first time - he ended up telling me: I HAVE AIDS AND I'LL TEST, Then I saw that he blocked me and did not appear until about six months later. When I asked:
What's up? Are you convinced? Not! Then I blocked it. And after I decide on something .... Those who know me well know. My decisions are Monolithic "
Let's continue with our psychosomatic friend ...!
It was then that he said:
Son, I'll prove to you that you do not have HIV !!! I would not need to pass this exam, but as I am watching your anguish, to reassure you I will pass an exam called Quantitative PCR, [OBSERVATION BY Cláudio Souza: Inappropriate procedure and it saddens me to see doctors passing by this message] this exam is only passed on to those who wisely have HIV, and if you have it and do not have it! You in those 4 months will get much more than 40 copies !!
With 135 days I did the exam, result, not detected !!
That gave me relief at the time, but as I was still in a state of obsession for believing that I still had HIV I turned to Google (damn Google) and in one of these PCR investigations I discovered that there is a condition called elite controller, the person has the virus but has undetectable viral load, ready, the panic was installed again, I waited, waited, waited and today with 6 months of possible exposure, I decided to do another HIV test, I needed that, with the current exams , impossible a person not to detect HIV after 6 months, this happened only in the time of Cazuza and Freddie Mercury ....
[Certain sentences are meaningless, but ...]
I went in CAT together with my wife and realized, result, guess what ?!
Again, not reagent !!!
Today my distress is over, today I decided to believe in science and get out of the harrowing state!
Today I believe in what the mind is capable of, it has immeasurable power, then it searches on Google on psychosomatization, there are people who have been blind and after 6 months of psychoanalysis have seen again, if you believe that you are ill, you will sicken.
So you my friend, who is going through all that I've been through (I know of cases of people who did 67 exams and still do not believe), my tip is, get out of this, go live your life, be happy, there are so many people wanting to have result that you are taking after examination and do not have, and are doomed to stay with this disease for the rest of life, then accept and go to be happy.
For me there is an immeasurable learning, and a great respect about the people who have this disease, I believed to have HIV for 6 months, as it was distressing.
My message is, I do not want to suffer the anguish that I have experienced:
USEM SHIRT !!! IN ALL RELATIONS, INCLUDING ORALS !!!
About my psychiatrist and my professional decision regarding my care at Whas App.
Starting, initially, from the fact more of the exposed and proposed to all:
I'm not a doctor. What I have to offer are my years of good and bad experiences over almost a quarter century 1 / 4 where I even volunteered on CRT-A during the time I lived in the Brenda Lee Support House. quite difficult to live, but that sheltered me, fed me, somehow gave me hope but for which I ask the Divine Grace not to have to return
My psychiatrist, last Monday, eighteen of March, was invited by me, based on the known implicit treatment of secrecy in the MEDICAL / PATIENT, to "scroll through my contact list, being warned that those without images were in lines general, of people who, after my usefulness, blocked me.
She was shocked and, taking into account the painfully stressful situation I am living and experiencing, said, yes, that my decision to close this door, it was well done! I'll handle this at the end of the text.
Like I said, she was shocked. and see, I have looked what has and what has no relevance and I have deleted, after also blocking systematically these people and my psychiatrist saw that I am already entering 2016.
Only those who, I know, become friends! And, I can quote a phrase. One person told me:
-"Not!!!! None of this !!!!!! We're friends, it's for the rest of our lives! "
Well, I'm blocked, and I know I am, for at least two weeks and without one even soon !!!!
This is not the first time she has advised me to "wash my hands". The first time was when I, aware that I could not continue the course of letters in UNIFESP because of the obvious risk of life during the return, I still had doubts about locking or abandoning the enrollment. It was in 2016.
I have changed City, my cell phone will be changed and only people who have a real contact with me will not be blocked, not as a bag of knowledge and as of today, 20 (twenty) March 2019 (two Thousand and nineteen), the work for What's App will be charged, "pro-rata" at a cost of R $ 10,00 per week, being available for communication via TEXT between 11: 30 and 19: 45.
Friends, friends. Work, and this is work, it's something else.
Well, maybe you want to read about the London Patient
Or Conquer the Story of a person who was blamed for me whom I did not have the courage to say: My first disaster, my first emotional post-diagnosis tragedy:Márcia 1996 +”
I do not know…
About me, Cláudio Souza => The video below speaks volumes to me!
I have been keeping this blog, almost without help, since the year 2000! we are at the end of 2019
No one is so poor that they can't help at least once. It's your choice. And God Witnesses Your Options
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