The Worst Symptom of HIV is Prejudice

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The worst symptom of HIV is, in fact, prejudice. I start with a detail, my friends (“…”). One of these people, someone I loved as a father, has demonstrated in many ways, almost verbatim, to be ashamed of my condition. Overkill? Do not know! But this friend knows many people who may or may not have any interest in my work and, with their social status and their purchasing power, give some help with advertising. So, this friend of mine, with a thousand devils, claims that entrepreneurs don't like to hear about diseases, because these things, diseases, represent failures! And I say it's * u ** que-m & - *** iu! And so, I reiterate:

The Worst Symptom of HIV is Prejudice

Because he kills you little by little, with a smile on his face. And, however bad and painful it may be, however harmful the facts, The worst symptom of HIV is Prejudice, the damn prejudice, because it inexorably leads to social death! Thing is, that there are strange little creatures that deny the existence of facts, it is the trivialization of AIDS
Worst Symptom of HIV, SeropositiveOrg
A Simple Virus
And look at the advice and rules of conduct it offers! And He made a point of ignoring that 1/3 of Brazilians refuses to work alongside a person with HIV or AIDS However, and yet, nothing is worse than a woman unable to hear no! ” And you see, you woman, whether you like to read this or not, you know that many of you support everything for love! And look, I know that! But "THE NO"! Porexample, the case where the “dancer of the old Louvre (it was not the museum)” broke a glass ashtray on the head of a DJ !!! His crime? What did he do? I remember Chicao asking him: What did you do? - And my teacher in the art of sonolastia answering: - "That's what I didn't do Chicão"!

The Worst Symptom of HIV is Prejudice

Worst Symptom of HIV, SeropositiveOrg
This is the face

You asked me about the symptoms of HIV. They are the symptoms of a virus. You may be surprised, but that's it. See, in Portuguese it would be * Human Immunodeficiency Virus *.

But, come on, try to answer this RECURRING question!

Later on I will put some other links for you to understand for example the life cycle of HIV.

And put in your little heads that SUS testing is Reliable

Thus, you will understand what HIV infection is, which is a kind of disease, a virus, and that AIDS is quite another, a set of symptoms and signs.

Symptoms and signs and the manifestation of opportunistic diseases, where a damn flu is not welcome! 😤😤.

Valley Fever, well, this could be ...

In HIV infection you are experiencing a virus.

Yes Yes! And look carefully, you live it with all the characteristics of a virus.

And that is why, in some people, nothing is perceived! I went HIV carrier I don't know for how long! What I do know is that when the snake smoked, it was ugly and, yes, I thought

I thought I was going to dry up like an abandoned plant in a pot

If we were talking about the measles virus we would be talking about a cycle of 7 to 8 maybe 9 days with a lot of discomfort and some care that only mothers know they have to have with their children, and with the grace of God a happy ending.

This symptom of HIV Prejudice, Destroy Psyche!

Almost Annihilated Mine!

In the case of chicken pox, by event, you would be experiencing another type of virus with a course relatively similar to that of the flu! And flu is not an opportunistic disease, nor is it AIDS defining!

Skin rash can have so many causes that I'm not even going to list many, but see:
  • Dry skin in winter
  • Scabies
  • Zoster - If you had chicken pox it is possible that you develop zoster

But still different from HIV. Because HIV infection is a long-term infection and it is necessary, in fact, to achieve the disastrous effects that it can cause, a period of time of subtle silence!

I could simplify with syphilis, but syphilis is not caused by a virus but by another way of life that I cannot define, always keep in mind that:

I am not a doctor and so, everything I can say is based on what I learned by translating and living.

And, I know, that's not much

Na HIV infection it exists for some people, and I confess that I did not notice the experience of it in me, a phase called acute phase. This phase would be similar to the flu, or any other virus, you would certainly be accompanied by a fever, or fever, some bodily discomfort. A huge laziness, a desire not to work, not to study, to enter the quantum world and disappear. This I will do someday!

Here is a dreadful story, a rape.

This story is part of one. The fact is that it steal peace until today. And although a social worker said that such a person, with such a model of behavior, would sooner or later contract HIV, I have my doubts with me. Should I have screamed for help?

Who would believe me? The few people to whom I told this, made fun and “took a hair”!

The fact is that at a certain point in my history, I regained, for some time, “DJ status” for a few weeks. It had been almost a year since I had given you another physical contact with a woman and naturally, I was climbing the walls! There was a girl there with the surname of India, who thought because she thought she had to stay with me! What India did not know is that I had no attraction for her! I never wanted to be with a person like her, I wasn't my type, I didn't have the “Tchan” that made me freak…. It was, so to speak, her biotype. And there was the HIV thing, I was afraid to tell, and I wouldn't know how to do it without telling. This madwoman made me, through tips from clients, touch India. With Paulo Sérgio….

India Your Hair As Long Fallen, Black as the Night That Has No Moonlight

This House had rooms, and that characterized pimping exploitation! And I felt very uncomfortable working there!

I never liked working in environments like that. But at that moment I saw myself dead end!

The nightclub in question was not in São Paulo, but in Greater São Paulo! And it took me almost two hours to get home from work and two more hours to go to work! In this way I talked to the house manager, explaining to her that I was looking for a house to live in that municipality and that it was very difficult to come and go according to schedule. What if she could give me the I use one of those rooms for some time, so-zi-nho! And she granted me this freedom But said:
I want you to have your bedroom door unlocked, because if I catch you there with a look, I'll put you in the eye of the street right away!

All I Wanted

Sky people, all i wanted was to start over, and there was a great possibility! I couldn't take the risk of losing my job. Maybe it was a comeback, I loved what I did! Not at all, at that point in my life, would I get involved with a woman, especially having just discovered that I had HIV! And I well knew that I would hardly have a new chance as a DJ it was my last chance! Even though: Climbing the walls!
Climbing the Walls! I? Yes! Yes is yes! More than a year
Keep in mind that I haven't played a woman for almost a year! And it's damned and India took advantage of the situation and went into the room. I was still young, I was just over 30, and the hormones were in a boiling cauldron! Quickly she managed to get me "excited" and, forgive me for the euphemism, "it fit me"! Organic reaction does not indicate consent!
La vérité, toute la vérité
If I said I had HIV she would surely raise screaming Wind Rose to my reality and I would lose the job of! Was I a Coward? Yes! Was I Pathetic? Yes! Did I have choices? Yes, I did, but I couldn't see them!

Yes, I had choices! But I didn't see them !!!

But I tried! I said stop please put the condom on! And she replied: it doesn't have to be in the face that you don't have! and I increased:
- “And you can't tell just from the face I can have it and you don't know if I have it or not! - "If you already have f *** u everything"!

It is evident at this point in the conversation that she knew absolutely nothing about HIV and AIDS, but did not give a damn about how easy it is to contract HIV or not, thus putting herself at risk, perhaps, constantly, but these reasoning did not come after many years after!… (…)…

Time Remember? Yes! In less than 30 seconds later I ejaculated!
And She was gone. A few years later I already talked to a therapist, he said that a person who followed this line of reasoning, and who adopted this line of Conduct, hardly ever saw HIV or probably already got it! But none of this has served me as a consolation over the years, and it's been almost 25 years, almost a quarter of a century, and I never heard from her again! And the pain that hurts the most, the pain not knowing! I'm not sure, but I believe that whoever wrote this, this sentence was Cecília Meireles, if it wasn't Cecília, forgive me, the author of that sentence, please correct it, thank you! Fortunately, all of this ends in two to six weeks, according to doctors and texts, and the same I did not experience and I do not know closely whoever experienced it and who I may have observed. I know that at least one person also remembers having lived something like this. What we have next in the case of HIV infection is an absolutely silent and asymptomatic phase. but do not be fooled by HIV, it is not a virus that “stays incubated”.
HIV is always active exercising its life cycle!
The problem is that with each HIV life cycle it produces new copies of itself, which is, if I understand correctly, it will overload the T + CD4 cell! The cell of a lymphocyte and many of you will embrace CBCs believing that by the fall of your lymphocytes, often an occasional fall and with incidentally the presence of another life form, another etiological agent, make you believe that you are losing immunity! (…). Do you know that emoticon you use to say you are extremely sad?
It is very common for people to say to me:
My lymphocytes are low…. and show countless emoticons that demonstrate that he is terribly depressed! 😔😌😌😞😣😢😰😖 What I realize is that they fear the worst symptom of HIV the most. The prejudice. There are people who come to me, find welcome, listen to what they need to hear, are not convinced and, you know what I hear?
… It's for my wife and daughter! I deserve!
This is the worst symptom of HIV: The prejudice"
It's not for me! It is for my wife and daughter. I deserve!
You know, it's like they look at me and say: You deserve what's going on, you got sick like that because you lived “a promiscuous life”! The other day, at the HC pain clinic, in my first consultation with the anesthesiologist, right after I said that I am a person living with HIV, she shot, without weighing the words: - "How did you contract HIV"? Were you too promiscuous? This is the worst symptom of HIV I had to count to 685.254

I had to learn to be patient so I wouldn't pull you over the wi-fi network hanging right here! Yes, it is so much victimization, because that is what 20 is really about, unhappiness, fear, favor, and often prejudice!

FBC does not serve to ally Immunological Status and the Imbecile Doctor Lá de Itaquera Has to Go Raising Chickens

You are experiencing about yourself what you or many of you believe to be what people like me should be experiencing!

I know I took it hard with that sentence, but the truth is that polishing a little more, filing a little less, what you start to experience is the fear of being socially exposed to everything that we people with HIV occasionally are being forced to go through.

It is basic math who is (…), afraid

And well, I know some exaggeration in all this, because the people who look for me, I believe, would not look for me, if they had so much contempt for me!

And I see myself here in an epiphany!

The Initial Idea was to talk about the symptoms, the HIV infection, and the theme is outdated already in what I believe is the third page of this text that at this point has no deadline and number of pages to finish! Maria Bethânia reads a text by Fauzi Arap and I quote a passage here: “I accuse us! And I confess for us…" Why and I have to start with me ! I can't say I didn't know about HIV! I knew Yes, and I was fully aware of it, but I believed it would be like being struck by lightning. And although it looks like this, at the time of diagnosis, it really isn't! Why? Because in my ignorance in my stupid blindness in my disinterest in my own life, total indifference to my life and its quality, based on the belief that I was young and was eternal, I had nothing to fear, I ended up contracting HIV would be immediately have AIDS and die! I already talked about it in another text a text in which I say that i don't think about cure and I really don't think.

Not for me!

And as I say there, I think about it, for Mara and for you! And maybe you take me for a madman or a braggart. But I told my previous infectologist that before being a doctor she is also a great friend in the same way that I already said this to Maíra, my therapist or Dr. Valéria, my psychiatrist:
If this cure appears tomorrow, I won't get in line to pick you up!
Messianism? Not! Victimism? If you know my story you know that the last thing I need is victimism or messianism! Life hit me enough that I don't want to be beaten anymore! And I believe it is for this very reason that I would not seek this cure! Six months before my father died, I watched “A Cabana”. And this film gave me enough resources for me to think and, to be really wordy, I had no basis to forgive. There was, in fact, nothing to be forgiven because, just as I say to everyone, and said to me when my hands were ruined, I just type with the indicators or said to Docs, I had to apply to the maximum extension the “law” that I learned:

EVERYTHING IS HOW GOD WISHES

Worst Symptom of HIV, SeropositiveOrg
Who knows seeing, you end up believing
And, fortunately, I found the strength to cross the city, from here near Mandaqui to Grajaú to just and so simply tell him what he needed to hear in order to be pacified in relation to me, and at this moment I saw the improbable! He, my father, Sebastião Afonso de Souza, shed a tear !!! Because looking foolish or not being foolish or not, it was life with HIV that led me to this condition of being rebuilt! Although I have a friend who might make fun of it and tell me how you are improving Cláudio ??? !!!

He knows I'm getting better!

But Look: A person who had to cross hell from one end to the other on countless occasions, and managed to get up and know the sky, I made too many mistakes! More than is acceptable and, as Gleici said, I will have to struggle with suicidal ideation until the end of my days. I already knew that and I'm treating myself! But mistakes that it was impossible for any living creature with my luggage to make. There was a time when I lived in a hotel in front of the nightclub where I worked and I will not speak the name of the hotel because surely Beto Volpe knows and will make fun of me! The owner of the hotel was a Portuguese, whose name escapes my memory! But I remember being called by him once to talk and, although I cannot remember verbatim what he said, what he did, was to give me: "Good advice"! He showed to be very attentive to the way I had been living and drew my attention to the fact that every morning a different girl came into the hotel that passed by the lobby, took my key and waited. And I can say that I remember a few words:

- Cláudio! You are throwing your life away, every girl like this who comes here, to be with you has hope! the hope that you wake up and look at her and see in her, the value that is worthy of giving to any and all women:

take her as a wife, build a family, disappear from that street and never come back!

The street was Rua Bento Freitas, Beto the hotel was the domino hotel and the club was Le Masque. Do you want me to tell the whole truth? Yes, there were rivers of reason in his words, I lacked, love! Love for me!

It was Sex and not LOVE

I didn't make love, I had sex! And the big goal was her orgasm whoever she was as long as it was a good orgasm. After all, advertising is the lifeblood of the business!

But, I “went up as a DJ to the Vagão Plaza at Nestor Pestana”.

At some point in the Plaza car I believe I contract HIV! I was talking the other day with a friend and I'll explain it to you!
Nestor Pestana Street
On Rua Nestor Pestana there were 5 nightclubs. the “strongest” were the Kilt and the Plaza car. I am not sure how things worked at Kilt, but the Plaza Car had a clientele that did not call us "guided": from Tokyo, London, Amsterdam, Paris Hong Kong other cities, every day a plane or 2 or 3012 took off or 30 passengers with Spirit aimed at the following objective: In the next five days I will close the deals that have to close and next Friday Saturday Sunday or Monday I will be in the Plaza car!
And I'll do a show with one of those 400 women!
Can you believe it or not the Fact is that I have been with almost all of them and none of them and I say none stammered “You have to use a condom“! And the sad truth is that neither am I and this is in the text where I say I don't want a cure! I didn't care either!
And let's say I turned to this friend of mine and looked virtually at her and said,
My dear friend, I don't know when I contracted HIV, and I can never know! The fact, undeniable, unchangeable unconsciously, but that does not serve as an excuse, I acted like a centrifuge, and disastrously I don't have the notion or the ability to measure how far I spread pain, death and dissolution. And this friend of mine used that emoticon, of total sadness because it fit very well there, and I don't know where he could or could come I ended up better!

Immense sadness and some remorse too 😓😩😫😨

I know that I have strayed far from the final objective of this text and I have no intention of erasing it! What I honestly promise you. Can you believe that someone like me has honesty? Today is the 21st of July 2019 is 20:42! In a few moments I will use the editing resources I have to copy all this text and paste it on the WordPress editing table. What will differ from this version that is here for the version that you will see will be the correction of spelling mistakes made by a computer that is listening to a saying! And yet you can make mistakes!

Is it because I, then, a dyslexic, couldn’t miss typing?

Typing mistakes are almost without consequences, the mistakes I made are existential! And maybe I have to work another 50 years on this blog, and according to my faith in the spiritual world, for at least the impacts of so much restlessness and frivolity and why not tell the whole truth?
I didn't know how to love, and sex was just fun
Today I know and understand here sex is something that God gave us so that we would have more joy in living! And these days about the weight of so much mourning, so much pain, so much remorse, so much epiphany and those who prefer such insight, and I cannot use any rhetorical resources. And I believe that you must have realized that I am good at this, although not only in rhetoric, but also in deeds, all this responsibility is mine and exclusively! I had no one and God sent me the advice of the owner of that hotel, who for a few minutes looked at me like someone looking at a son! And he acted towards me in the best way a father acts towards his son and if mine that rested in peace, was limited by “n” factors of leniency, I cannot use these factors as a defense factor for me, because you may not believe but the street educates! Educate hard and with expensive classes! More educating, and if I didn't learn, it was because I certainly didn't want to pay attention, and pasting the statements and a character from a film, I have no right to look at you and say that at that moment virtue was not convenient.
Everything is as God desires, isn't it Father Manolo?
And I promise that I will try to talk only and only about the symptoms of HIV in the next text! But I think you can see that I can’t keep changing the analyst, which is why I swore I swore I’ll never change the analyst because: Éline helped me a lot! But it was Maira who allowed me to lead me through the three labyrinths of my consciousness instead of staying here with this room with so many chests with so many pictures and so many pictures filled with so much pain! So much pain, so much pain and pain, yes, so much pain! Not only moral and physical, but also intellectual tough.
Newly diagnosed? Reagent? HIV Positive?
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And it was not within a "comfort zone"! This is a story that only I have to tell!

I was the first individual, a CPF, not a CNPJ to, in quotes, “Slap my face”!

For all that I lived, it all happened in a period still troubled by prejudice and, yes, there were prices to be paid.

The currency has always been that of social exclusion and I have even hesitated between continuing or not!

The great “IT” of all this is that without this work, I would have nothing left but leisure and I would certainly not endure it. I have a need to be productive.

We are Borg!

If not bored by the empty hours, at least by suicide due to the absolute lack of purpose that my life would have and the terrible impression of parasitosis that would come to affect me. So, I couldn't stop.

I had the opportunity to accomplish many things and, on the other hand, I missed several opportunities to do more, with a deeper and better reach.

Not everything is as desired. Let it rain (Guilherme Arantes)!

Anyway, if you have the possibility to support, to finance, even if only minimally this project, here are the facts:

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This is the Only Blog ”Still ON LINE” to have received this award and this consecration. The blog that achieved the same status was Solidariedaids, by Paulo Giacommini. Unfortunately I can't find the link and the communication this me and he is very difficult
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Unique Blog On Line Treating this theme to have received this award by the Academic Jury

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Hi! Guys, thanks for getting this far! Your attention and interest is our greatest interest, we work here, me and mara, in order to inform you, make some clarity in some nebulous points of "all of this".

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If you like work, if you are able to help and want to help, often the cost of a silly day-to-day for us, will certainly make a difference because, we know, the hummingbird, carrying water on the tip of your beak will make all the difference in the effort to put out the forest fire!

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