A seropositive who is not just one more!

Testimony of People Living with HIV Stories Positives

HIV positive? Yes. Any one? ...

Well, this is the story of a different HIV positive woman. But very different!

Angel… Even alone, in the midst of loneliness, this HIV positive woman did not allow herself adventures, but she was really, really afraid of blood test!

Just like me 😢

Do you want to know what and how is life with AIDS? Click Here this link will be at the bottom of the page too!

The story of a HIV positive woman who is no longer one. She is "Sui Generis"!

Yes! That's right, she wasn't just anybody!

And I was not open to appear. It was still a time of fear, discrimination was extremely crude. Anyway, I was never successful in even getting a phone number from this girl and, finally, life took us away.

What happened to her? Well ... In this world, which is not of angels, I will not see it and, even less, I will know something about it and even its destiny.

By my calculations, if you, Angel, are still with us, you're close to 49, maybe 58, maybe 57, I can't say.

Do you see the accuracy of my calculations? They can never beat me cold and calculating. Don't be surprised !!!

I care about people, and I just wanted to know if you're okay!

This is the story of A SOROPOSITIVA any one!

And I was not open to appear. It was still a time of fear, discrimination was extremely crude. Anyway, I was never successful in even getting a phone number from this girl and, finally, life took us away.

What happened to her? Well ... In this world, which is not of angels, I will not see it and, even less, I will know something about it and even its destiny. By my calculations, if you, Angel, are still with us, you're close to 49, maybe 58, maybe 57, I can't say. Don't be surprised. I care about people, and I just wanted to know if you're okay!

In my life, I always had a great need to prove that I could be loved, I always searched for that love frantically, without much criterion, thinking that it could be that next boy I suddenly met at a party, on a trip, anywhere, as long as it was suddenly, without much choice.

I expected total realization, coming from "anybody" ... and with that I was trying, searching, giving me body and soul to many who, certainly, were far from deserving me ...

And I had no ability to see that.

Until one day, at the end of 89, one of these attempts You steady yourself and I've been dating. and it went on and on. (Infinite while… Jeez! What a good question for an editor at three-sixteen of the morning!)

He certainly did not have much competence to be my prince charming, but the best characteristic that the boy had was to show willingness to be with me. and continue with me until…

God knows when.

And that was what I loved the most about him.

HIV positive? Yes! Angel? I do not believe. Do not know! Good…. Look…

Seropositive, SoropositiveOrg

It was over 5 years old. And I no longer saw much fun in my partner, but I stayed true to him and there was a lot of fear of end the dating for fear of loneliness and fear, very, very afraid, of falling into this world, looking for that love again… Especially now in these AIDS times, although ... well ... With the life I led until I stabilized in this courtship, I always thought that I was a strong candidate to be HIV positive. I had never used a condom and had tried many boyfriends. But where was the courage to do the blood test?

The blood test?

On one occasion in 93, I had to do some tests for admission to a new job, and I was hoping that they would not ask for an HIV test ... and UFA, thank God they didn't.

And there I went, living my life, with my steady boyfriend, my little job - I was super healthy, in high spirits, alive.

I was already HIV positive and I didn't even imagine it. “I feared”, but…

IS. She was never, like, “like this, like this, so like this”! He was always taking care of himself. I remember chatting with her and at one point she said she was going to work out and would only come back five or six hours later! She was decidedly "unique", singular.

In October 96 the relationship finally ended for no special reason ... it was saturation, and certainly for both parties.

I started to want to look around, and look for a new boyfriend - there were already some Prince Charming fantasies in my head, but I wanted to go slow, trying to adapt to the life of "woman alone".

One month to discover myself HIV positive!

I didn't have much time - a month later, that ex-boyfriend comes to me to let me know that he has had an HIV test (who knows why he decided to take this test) and tested positive.

That was my 40-year-old gift: the obligation to take the test, given this statement by him - the man I made love to for 6 years without ever protecting myself ... and neither did he.

I, Claudio, never knew your viral load! Hopefully she has been alive so far, to know that undetectable is equal to nontransferable!

See, the treatment was once a bar. At the time when she, Angel, and I, as well as Mara, Beatriz Pacheco, Beto Volpe and others, like Sílvia Almeida, we started the treatment, we started the treatment with medicines, when we took them, we had the impression that we were drinking # ¿$?%! with gravel, literally. But I thought.

This is life. Or at least survival, improvising life, until things got better and, in fact, they got better.

A little bag of pills.

I remember having counted 44 tablets to be taken TWICE A DAY!

Today, a tablet, with three different active principles, often a single daily intake, is enough.

But I'm going to paste here a stupid thing that I brought to a blog.

This Blog, from that apparent automaton, who never said his personal name. And people believed in him. Guys, I want to be cremated when I die and, if I write a book that mentions a single name from this “blog”, you can throw my ashes in cow dung, because it would (have) been deserved

And it was the suffering… it was difficult, it hurt a lot… I knew I would never have a chance of the result being negative… it was OBVIOUS that I was infected….

I thought I was going to die the next day, I was afraid to even breathe so I wouldn't catch any disease in the air!

Who passed to whom?

And the question came:

"Who passed this bomb to ???????" and then I thought:

- “What's the use of this concern?

We are both infected. We have more to take care of ourselves. ”

Thoughts rolling in my head: - "Oh my God ... What a fault, I was the one who passed it on to him, poor thing"

Today, a pill, with three different active ingredients, often one shot

daily, enough.

But I'm going to paste here a stupid thing that I brought to a blog.

This Blog, from that apparent automaton, who never said his personal name.

A beat of bama, in the beautiful cadence….

And people believed in him. Guys, I want to be cremated when I die, and if I write a book that mentions a single name from this blog, you can throw my ashes in cow dung, because it would (have) been deserved

And it was suffering… it was difficult, it hurt a lot… I knew I would never have a chance of the result being negative… it was OBVIOUS that I was infected…

I thought I was going to die the next day, I was afraid to even breathe so I wouldn't catch any disease in the air! - “What's the use of this concern? We are both infected. We have more to take care of ourselves. ”

Thoughts rolling in my head: - “Oh my God…. What blame, I spent

this for him, poor thing ”…

I was HIV positive, taking pity on anyone who might have passed me

Then I thought: - “He had a lot of freedom…

He used to go out a lot by himself, he sure took it around and passed it on to me ”! The“ voice that guides me saying: “You are getting what you asked for, do not betray, Sonia or even your word”.

Very difficult times especially in the emotional aspect, because until today I hide the virus from my family and my best friends.

Luckily I adapted very well to medication and my body responded quickly, then cleared the viral load and increased CD4.

I stayed with the boyfriend again for another year… I believe that as a “cane” for each other, but we ended up walking away.

He soon arranged with another and I retired.

Since then, it has been difficult for me to relate emotionally and mainly sexually, as I always think I should tell you that I am HIV positive for those who want to get close to each other sexually.

Many run away, panic, and some don't even believe me, because they think that people who have HIV look sick and lead the life of a sick person, while I'm a super healthy woman, full of disposition, well cared for, and modesty aside, Very pretty.

This is the hardest part of my life.

Be seropositive and stay beautiful and attractive! Hard task!

But in other respects, my life has improved so much, but so much in those 4 years, that I get emotional when I do a retrospective.

I, living with this unfortunate little animal, began to take care of me much more, I began to value myself much more and I became a consistent woman, knowing of my value and I am always looking for the best for me, in all aspects.

I no longer accept the "anyone" in life ... I no longer accept "anything" ... I am always looking for and deserve what is good about this life ...

Learning and Learning

I also learned to see things better, and from what is bad, I go far.

My mood has always been very high, and now, in the face of this experience, it is very difficult for some bullshit to leave me shaken.

I'm the one who gives strength to everyone who surrounds me and barely know them the little animal that I have inside me...

This is a hard lesson ... But it was certainly worth it!

HIV positive? Yes it's true. But not just any person. I'm sure of that!

I really love myself these days., with HIV living with me.

Before him (HIV) I just raved.

This is the story of a seropositive woman who is no longer one who is not ONE MORE, but yes, it is MY story of STRENGTH to pass on to all of you.

http://soropositivo.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/0niLOyhCd5g?rel=0

An important note from the Editor: I realized here, now, a few paragraphs above, that she says that the 40th birthday gift was the result of being HIV positive! Almost twenty years have passed, Angel, and I don't know anything about you and, read:

Longing is not knowing. Not knowing what to do with the longer days, not knowing how to find tasks that would cease thinking, not knowing how to stop the tears in front of a song, not knowing how to overcome the pain of a silence that fills nothing.

Nostalgia is not wanting to know. Not wanting to know if he is with another, if she is happy, if he is slimmer, if she is more beautiful. Longing is to never want to know who you love, and yet, it hurts.

July 1988

https://www.facebook.com/CronicasDeMarthaMedeiros

In prison it's dose for mammoth!

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